


Drink Me

by SnowyMay



Series: Idiots in Love [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anderson Poop, Award for Best Cat Name Ever goes to Remus, Holiday Short, M/M, Or Crack, Saint Paddies Day, Saint Patrick's Day 2017, Saint Patrick's Day Fluff, Snames, Still Idiots, Underage Drinking, Woo!, drink responsibly, holiday themed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-06 23:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10347468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowyMay/pseuds/SnowyMay
Summary: Severus and Regulus have a mission.





	

“A Toast!” Regulus Black boomed, his glass of contraband absinthe raised high, sloshing over the rim in his haste. “To the Slytherin who not only got us fame but also got us even with those stupid badgers and dirty birds!” His words were slurring a little, evidence of his pre-partying. Severus was right up there with him, cheering for the witch or wizard who had apparently owned Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, until he remembered it had been him (he might have drunk a little more than Regulus). His fellow snakes cheered loudly and some of them raised him onto their shoulders. Cups of liquor were raised and a hearty ‘To Severus’ rang through the commons room, a few wands letting out bursts of fireworks and light.  
Severus drained his glass and cheered with the rest of them, summoning a bottle of champagne once he’d been put down. He waded through the horde of Slytherins he finally stumbled into his friend, latching on as to not loose him again. Regulus clung him right back, pulling the bottle from his hands as Severus guided them out of the mob. Once safe Severus snatched the bottle back, popping it open and aiming at an unsuspecting Malfoy. 

Stumbling, Severus surmised that this probably the best way to get what he wanted. Regulus certainly thought so, although he was more interested in seeing what Sirius put in his hair than helping Severus’ love life. The journey from their common room to the Fat Lady’s portrait had been a long and hard one, Severus having to retrace his steps many times to find his lost companion. Severus let out a soft giggle as he eased the Hidden door open, the penknife Regulus stole from his brother coming in handy.  
The two Slytherins crept into the dark common room and headed towards the dorms, stopping only to debate who got to hold the bottle of champagne and who got to hold the bottle of cupcake vodka (Severus maintained his right to hold onto the vodka as he was the reason they had it and Regulus just complained about sticky fingers). Once they had found the male dorms both were relieved to see that each rooms’ door held the names (and occasional quips) of their occupants.  
It was easy enough to find the room as it was the only one with a loud red and gold gaudy design that proudly displayed all four names and how great they were. Severus gently placed his wand against the door and replaced the words with more honest attributes and then aimed at the doorknob, mumbling, ‘Alohomora’.  
Surprisingly the room was void of people, Remus’ old cat simply raising his head and then falling back asleep once he deemed them acceptable. Regulus quickly began going through the bathroom’s grooming products while Severus tried to pick out James’ bed. He narrowed it down between two, as he could dismiss the bed that had a pictureless book on it and the one that seemed to be about to break due to the huge weight that it constantly held. Severus paused to pick up Anderson Pooper and crawl into what he hoped would be the right bed.  
He curled up on the nearest one and breathed in. He’d picked the right one.

“MY HAIR IS NOT BIG JUST TO HIDE A POUCH TO HOLD MY EGO!”  
“MY BUTT IS NOT FLAT!”  
“Aw, I’m touched.”  
Severus curled deeper under the covers, taking a swig of the liquor and pulling the warm cat closer to him, despite his fussing. He could hear the boys arguing and finally someone yanked the sign down. Regulus whined over the noise, throwing the bottle at the door, demanding sleep and threatening retribution.  
“The fuck?” Severus couldn’t hold back a giggle as Anderson wiggled in his arms. Remus swearing was a delightful treat. The door breaking open, however, was not.  
“Who the fuck-Oh.” James stopped as Severus popped his head out from under the covers, glaring at him.  
“Is it too much to ask for so peace and quiet?” Severus snuggled underneath again. “Twat.”  
“WAFFLE!” Regulus started kicking at his brother as Remus repaired the door and Disappeared the broken glass.  
“Get out of my bed-I swear to Merlin if you pissed in my bed-”  
“No, I did not!” He let Sirius sit him up, slumping into his brother. “Sevy made me take the champagne.”  
“Bitch.” Severus snarled and refused to let James unbury him, much to Anderson Pooper’s chagrin. James cursed and finally managed to pull Severus out after Sirius had tucked Regulus back in. “…Don’t be mad just because you found me in bed with a pussy…cat…” Severus burst out laughing at himself. He pulled James in, careful of the cat and bottle. “Oh…but he is a boy so…” James tried to pluck the bottle out of Severus’ grasp but the Slytherin fought him.  
“Let it go Sev.” Instead he wrenched it away and braced himself up, chugging the remains of the vodka. “Are you done?” Severus burped, nodded, and handed him the bottle, flopping back into bed with a grace only he could master after such a display of intoxication. James carefully set the bottle down and lay himself down next to Severus. Remus called for his cat, but the chubby thing stayed with Severus. Grumbling, he went to bed alone. Sirius climbed into the bunk above Peter’s, grumbling about having to give up his bed for a drunk idiot.  
“Closer…” Severus patted James’ thigh, encouraging the snuggling. “You’re warm…and I like warm…” James wrapped and arm around Severus, pulling up closer to him. “James?”  
“Hm?” James kissed Severus’ hair.  
“You mom getting fucked by a soggy pickle.” Three people gagged (as Regulus had passed out, or there would have been four, Severus summarized). “Keep little Potter in check or I’ll make an illusion that’ll have you in therapy for years.” He snuggled into the bed again. “Soon James…just not tonight…”

**Author's Note:**

> Holy Shit, the year hiatus is over!  
> So...I really didn't intend to, but I did. My circumstances changed and I...and anyway, then I kept putting it off...But now I'm in a better place and inspired! I'm thinking of posting this Hannibal fic I've been kicking around for a while, or starting this Death Note one (I started reading Primitive Liars and I'm inspired to say the least...and also reading it at work instead of working :3 ). Alright, in closing-I'm going to finish what I started here and have some plans for future stories. I'm also thinking of giving this story more plot (other than just James/Severus), any thoughts? I was thinking more cannon-ish? Maybe merge the two (Cannon and AU)? Anyway, things are gonna happen >:3


End file.
